We would like to acknowledge that while parts of Jacqueline's story may make some readers uncomfortable, we believe that facilitating dialogue that includes the full range of human experience is an essential part of mutual understanding and cultural exchange, two of the foundational pillars of the Fulbright Program.
HERstory: A Woman of Color's Journey through Three Countries
26 February 2020In recognition of Black History Month, Fulbright Austria asked current US teaching assistant Jacqueline Audra Robinson to speak about her experience as a woman of color on both sides of the Atlantic.
HERstory: A Woman of Color's Journey through Three Countries
By Jacqueline Audra Robinson
Looking back at living, working, and being a part of society in three different countries in five years, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Every place I have been has pros and cons that gave me a unique insight, which is not something everyone is privy to. It’s not about the negative experiences you have; it’s about the people you meet and what you make of your time there. While it’s hard and obnoxious to deal with racism and discrimination on a regular basis—and even if it appears and is inflicted differently in different parts of the world—every country has beautiful, open-minded, and supportive people who appreciate diversity and the perspectives it brings.
In Germany, racism was rather direct and straightforward. People said what they wanted to say and that was that. The first time I experienced racism, I was 11 years old and in elementary school in Germany. On several occasions my classmates and a teacher called me the N-word, told me to go back to Africa—“Where you came from”—called my sister and me ugly monkeys. They wouldn’t pick me in PE class, and the only friend I had at the time was my older sister, who went to the same school and was dealing with the same issues. Since then, I’ve also experienced name-calling, been spat at, and was treated differently during job interviews, at work, and on public transportation.
Texas, on the other hand, is a completely different story. People didn’t call me the N-word to my face; they said it behind my back or gave me backhanded and discriminatory compliments. I’m “pretty (for a black girl),” I’m “outspoken, eloquent, and intelligent (for a black girl),” I’m not “what I imagined while speaking to you on the phone.” At my university in Texas, I was the only black woman in my major. As a teaching assistant woman of color in my department, I was always given twice the amount of work as my colleagues. What’s more, there was always something wrong with the way I did my work, even though I made sure to do it exactly how I had been shown how to do it. At work, if I expressed my concerns about preferential treatment or discriminatory behavior, I was labeled an “angry black woman.” Some customers didn’t want to buy anything from me but bought really expensive stuff from my white male coworker.
I’m “pretty (for a black girl),” I’m “outspoken, eloquent, and intelligent (for a black girl)."
Everyday life—just driving to and from campus or work—was a hassle. I was pulled over for driving the wrong way on a one-way street, which was fair. But during our entire interaction, the police officer had his hand on his gun and spoke to me in a demeaning and very rude tone. I was also grabbed by the police while jogging in my own neighborhood at night wearing headphones. Apparently, someone’s car alarm had gone off, and that person had called the police. I couldn’t hear the officer when he saw me jogging and told me to stop, so he grabbed me by my arm very violently—and then followed me home to make sure I wasn’t lying. I was also followed around in grocery and clothing stores because “black people are thieves,” was told to show proof of purchase at all times, and had my purse and bags searched. And the list goes on.
Living in Austria for the past six months has been a breath of fresh air. In the beginning, I noticed people in Villach staring. There were eyes constantly following my every move, yet I was still met with a friendly demeanor. To an extent, I believe my observers are trying to figure out where I am from without asking me to explain. It is clear there aren’t many people of color living in this beautiful city. Even though it becomes clear where I am from once I start speaking German, natives I interact with here are at first skeptical and then surprised when I greet them or order my cup of coffee with cake. They compliment me on my German skills, and when I tell them I’m from Germany, they want to know exactly where I am from. I tell them I was raised in Bavaria, and they smile and say people from there are like distant cousins in terms of dialect and historical traditions.
So far, I have only encountered one incident in Austria involving prejudice. An elderly woman went on a rant about refugees and asylum seekers at a restaurant here in town. She referred to me by using the N-word and said that “none of them should be allowed here; they steal jobs, they’re lazy, and they live off of government.” There was no one else in our section of the restaurant, so I turned to her and said that I was of Afro-German and African American descent, legally here by choice, and working as an English teaching assistant. If she was really that curious about me, then she could have just had a conversation with me. Instead, she was disrespectful, rude, and extremely prejudice with her generalizations about refugees, asylum seekers, and people of color. I spoke to her in perfect German, and she stared at me and turned bright red. She did not respond to what I said, but instead paid for her meal and left the restaurant before my appetizer was served.
I am enjoying my experience as a teaching assistant here in Carinthia and the wonderful people who have included, accepted, and embraced me with open arms.
I am enjoying my experience as a teaching assistant here in Carinthia and the wonderful people who have included, accepted, and embraced me with open arms. There are a few months left in my contract with my school, and I hope to make more positive and wonderful memories that will last a lifetime. As stated in the beginning of this article, racism and discrimination are shared, viewed, and expressed differently in different parts of the world. This, however, will not and could not ever stop me from gaining a better understanding of the complexity, beauty, and—above all—the people living in those places.
Are you a person of color who traveled to the US or Austria as part of your Fulbright experience? If you would like to share your story, please contact us.